Even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.
Most of the people come back home, in the traditional sense of the word, to the place where they grew up, and feel some kind of sentiment, warm feelings. Honestly, I do not. It may seem sad if you feel uncomfortable in your hometown but actually it is not so bad at all, it gives you lots of motivation to run, run fast and run as far as possible.
I grew up in one of the small towns that does not let you breathe. Those places that try to draw you down to the average, teach you that you should not aim for too much and that you may also settle for a bit less, as everybody else here did as well.
I do not like the atmosphere, I do not like the aesthetics, I do not like this place in general. By the age of sixteen I knew that I wanted to escape as fast as possible. I became really frustrated and desperate about leaving but still I needed almost two years more to make it happen. Luckily, just after becoming a proud eighteen I was out, gone for good. I moved to a big city quite close and I was as happy as never before, I was breathing with my whole chest, every morning. I was free and I had absolutely nothing which means that I had also absolutely nothing to lose. But I had space and lots of dreams to follow. Space to breathe, space to learn, space to grow. I did my best to catch up for the wasted time behind and a year after I had a prestigious scholarship taking me to one of the best universities in Germany. Finally, I was acting again as well. Some time later I did landed for longer in Spain, but this is a different story.
I built my independence and freedom fast but carefully and it became one of the most basic requirements for my happiness. Today I sit in a vintage cafe in Berlin where I work and write, enjoying my last week in the capital. I have travelled so much lately and I have learned so much in the last five years filled with responsibility and freedom, important decisions and spontaneous flights.
I look into the future and I couldn’t be more excited. I feel in love with all the places I have never been to and with all the people I have still not met. If you stop and stare for a moment you realise that life is endlessly surprising. Everything around us is constantly changing. Every day, the sun shines upon a new world. What we call routine is full of new proposals and opportunities. Life is made up of large and small miracles.
I could tell you that it was easy to get here but it would be a lie.
I could tell you that it was not worth it but it would be a lie as well.