Why do I act

Many people spend their lifetime without discovering a true passion. They spend days, weeks, months and years working a 9-5 desk job that they might hate or might actually quite enjoy, but it doesn’t fulfill a passion deep inside them, their lives aren’t richer as a result of working such a job. I am a deeply lucky person. I have found a passion – something that makes my life better, which makes me happier, gives me drive and motivation, something that truly makes my life worth living. My first steps on a theatre scene were moments that have shaped me as a person and moments that made me feel really alive for the first time. I love the thrill you feel in your whole body, from your tiptoes to the top of your head, the flash of lights and the silent darkness of audience.

shoot from Mar de plastic

shoot from Mar de plastico

I did try the flash of lights on runways and during photo shootings as well and trust me it is not even close to the feeling that real stage or movie recording gives you. As a model, you feel good if you do your job well. Everybody are satisfied, so you are satisfied, yes, but not fulfilled. You learn techniques, you keep improving, it looks good, it feels good, that’s it. And you travel a lot. Paris, Milano, Berlin, Mallorca, all nice places to see.

From there I managed to move to advertising and publicity that involves at least a small seed of story-telling and your job description changes to ‘actress’. TV commercials can be immensely fun, no doubt. Big productions, big studios, very nice people and what I can say, it is nice to see yourself on TV drinking Ice tea. But it is still not the same.

The first short movie I was shooting in the Lodz International Film School was an exhausting and truly cathartic experience. I spent a week trying to understand, deep dive into the story, analyse what would I have felt if I would be living what my character is living. It is definitely more tough that commercials, it takes ages to find the right way to do the scene sometimes, it takes ages to make everybody happy with the result. It gets cold and long, and sometimes you just want to go home. But still, the next morning you wake up and fly back, as smoothly as possible, to the story you are being part of. And it is a wonderful feeling when after 12 hours everybody clap their hands and give you a high-five and you know, you made it.

The series are very exciting as well, they need to be made fast and efficient and the number of people you meet on set is enormous and most of them are quite fascinating human beings. My biggest project Mar de plastico, Spanish criminal series, starts its emission next Monday. I really cannot wait to see it! It involved shooting in 50 degrees and under a burning sun in Almeria, flying back and forth to Madrid while skipping my internship working days in Berlin and lots of drama. And I can say it was one of my favourite jobs till now, working with famous actors and a production team as lovely as this one was an (almost always) pure pleasure.

Acting is my passion but it is not my main profession for now and I still do many things beside that. I respect amazingly people who work as actors professionally, as beautiful as it is, it is also very insecure and difficult. As a woman, you have it harder while you get older and you can never be sure how high your income is going to be next month. Sounds stressful? I bet it is. You should have the courage to do what you love but sometimes turning your hobby into job may be simply dangerous. I did not dare to do it yet and that is why meanwhile I am finishing my management master of science studies, working as a student tutor, doing social projects and learning design.

I just still have absolutely no idea what exactly will I be doing in the next years but having so many colourful windows open in front me is actually quite a wonderful feeling. It is a bit scary as well.

For now, I believe in the two-way bridges that I keep building all around me. I believe in the deep sense of everything, in the benefits of constant learning, and in the opportunity of today if you believe in a tomorrow. I believe that everybody has a gift, or maybe many gifts, and an obligation to make the best out of it. There are so many dreams that we must make real.

So, let’s go!

 

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